Hoochie Daddy

Feel free to print and use as a bumper sticker.

Just be prepared to have your "clunker" trashed by moonbats.

Now that the stiff's cold and in the ground...

...I guess it's OK to say something less than wet-dreamy about Edward M. Kennedy.



I've grown sick of hearing all the glowing paeans to "The Lion of the Senate", or should I say "The Town Drunk of Washington". This man, aside from his obvious destruction of the life of Mary Jo Kopechne, was responsible for untold numbers of people becoming wards of the state (through his advancement of the welfare state), unemployed (through his championing of the minimum wage) and victims of unjust "justice" (through his very personal and mean-spirited attacks upon judicial nominees who would have given those people fair treatment in the courts).

America is a lesser, meaner, more morally constipated nation because of "The Lion".

Or should I say, "The Big Pussy".

The "new, improved" SAT

Sotomayor Aptitude Test, that is.


click image to enlarge for detail

If our prospective "wise Latina" justice had her way, this is how the SAT would read for African-American students:

11. Who be da bettuh hip hop slammuh:

A. P. Diddy
B. Snoop Dog
C. Puff Daddy
D. Fitty Cen'
E. Puffy Combs

Shameful race huckstering, pandering and bigotry of the highest order -- COMING SOON TO THE HIGHEST COURT IN THE LAND!!!

"...but some animals are more equal than others"

That famous quote from George Orwell's timeless -- and now, timely -- classic Animal Farm, should be tattooed on the ass of every single Demon-crat currently sitting in Congress, the White House, on a federal bench or just plain sittin' anywhere.

To wit:

House Resolution 615, sponsored by Republican Representative John Fleming from Louisiana, would

[express] the sense of the House of Representatives that Members who vote in favor of the establishment of a public, Federal Government run health insurance option are urged to forgo their right to participate in the Federal Employees Health Benefits Program (FEHBP) and agree to enroll under that public option.

In other words, what's sauce for the goose should be sauce for the gander. If everyone -- and everything, including outcomes -- are supposed to be "equal" in the fevered minds of our left-leaning brethren and sistern, then by all means so should their options for healthcare be identical to those they wish to foist upon the rest of us "rabble".

We all know that not a single Demon-crat will have the balls to support this measure. Thus, I've designed a new logo for our party of "dissent is patriotic":



And henceforth, they shall be known as "Hippo-crats".

Shovel this

"Uh ... uuuhng ... uuuuuuhng ..."



"Now ... uh, where's that, uh ... shovel?"

Less than stimulating

The "truth" finally comes out -- assuming anyone in Washington is actually capable of uttering the truth, even accidentally.

From local TV station WHAS11's website, this telling story:

Where are the Jobs? Looking at government promises for job creation

"Largely funded by organized labor, Americans United for Change['s] ... Lauren Weiner [stated] ... 'Those jobs will be seen in sectors that already exist actually. It will just be a transition from the current occupation to a clean energy focus. For instance, sheet metal workers and machinists would have funding to be working on constructing wind farms, roofers and insulators would be working on retrofitting buildings and making them more energy efficient.'"

In other words -- words meant to elucidate instead of obfuscate -- whatever jobs the next multi-hundred billion dollar "stimulus" package promises will NOT be new jobs, but simply moving currently employed manufacturing employees from their current tasks to making "green" stuff.

If only soylent were part of the process...

Swami-Lami-Ding-Dong Foretells All

"I am ... uh, the Great, uh ... Swami ... Lami-Ding, uh ... Dong."

"And I, uh, can ... foretell the ... uh, future."

"Looking into my, uh, crystal meth ... uh, crystal ball, I ... can, uh, see these things."

"Healthcare reform, uh ... will, uh, be passed ... in, uh, 2009."

"And, uh, some ... something big, uh ... may or, uh, may ... not happen in Iran."

"And, uh, someone ... may accuse, uh, me ... uh, of, uh attempting to, uh ... hedge my bets on Iran. Couldn't be, uh, let me just say, uh, what we're trying ... uh, no further questions."

Silence is...

...not a "tone".

O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong has his middle school assistant principal look-alike press secretary, the non-estimable Robert Gibbs, state that the little "p" president has no intention of changing his "tone" on Iran.

What tone? The @$$hat hasn't said diddly-squat about Iran since returning from the Middle East leg of his "Blame America" tour, during which he praised Muslims for their great contributions to world culture [small problem: algebra wasn't invented by Muslims, the compass wasn't invented by Muslims, pens weren't invented by Muslims, and no currently useful medical procedure was invented by Muslims]. Yes, the 7th through 14th Centuries was a great time...

The silence from this little "m" messiah on Iran and the obvious struggle from freedom being waged by its people in the streets since the election has been deafening. If O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong's brain dropped on the floor of the Oval Office, and Rahm Emmanuel wasn't there, would it make any sound?

I guess it was inevitable...

...given the ego of our little "m" messiah/little "p" president.

I send off for new checks. This is what shows up:



I suppose he thinks it's more subtle than raising our taxes to 100% of earned income.

I am in favor of government control of healthcare...

... with one proviso:

All government employees, elected officials included, must be under the exact same plan they force the rest of us to settle for.

That means, when they need care, they have to go through the same thing we do: long lines at the ER, months' long wait for an appointment at the clinic, years' long wait for diagnostic testing and surgical procedures -- and the constant fear that some bureaucrat with no knowledge of medical care at all will stamp "DENIED" on their request for life-saving treatment.

One heart beat away...

Crazy Joe -- we love him, we hate him. Wait, scratch the first part of that.

Seems no matter how much O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong tries to ply Ol' Copycat with liquor to shut him up, the most famous plagiarist this side of The Right Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Junior just keeps showin' us why liberals are morons. To wit (recently):

Joe has "real doubts" about the fairness of Iran's election. Can you say, "Well, DUH!!!" And as if the declared results even matter. As long as O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong's religious cousins are in charge of that big patch of sand covering 10% of the world's petroleum reserves, you could put a monkey in the position of president, and no one would be able to tell any difference in the way the country was run. Actually, given what Ahmadinejad looks like, perhaps they already have.

Joe tells us "everyone guessed wrong" on unemployment numbers. So, finally, it comes out: despite all the prattering about O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong getting "uniquely qualified" "geniuses" to run the new kleptocracy, it seems (well, to be honest, we knew all along) it's just a bunch of idiots guessing. Or groping around in the darkness of their own intellectual blindness. Is it any wonder absolutely EVERYTHING the little "m" messiah has foisted upon the American people by way of policies has been a disastrous failure, driving our economy farther and farther down the rabbit hole of Marxist statism?

And, finally (if only...), Joe opens his "Road to Recovery" tour in Carlisle, PA -- but apparently forgot Step 3. Or maybe just thinks "blue smurf" is his Higher Power.



Joe touts the Carlisle Bridge project as part of little "m" messiah's salvation of the US economy by way of taking more of our money and giving it to part-time workers. And Joe should know: after all, he was put in charge of keeping track of all those $787 billion. But if you search for "carlisle pennsylvania", all you get is some cryptic note informing you that "'blue smurf' will match less than blue smurf". Wow. Just ... wow.

Moral Confusion: Case #1,847,629

As of this moment [06/11/09, 09:47 AM EDT], Google News shows 2010 citations related to "stephen johns anti semitic".



It shows only 144 citations related to "ahmadinejad anti semitic".



So, some nut case who empties a clip at the Holocaust Memorial gets almost 14 times as many mentions as the President of Iran, who has "famously" -- but apparently not "noticeably" -- vowed to nuke Israel off the face of the earth.

Astounding.

Disheartening.

Morally confused.

"Uh ... yo there..."

"...bee-yatch. I ... uh, I mean, you ... better, uh, have ... some of, uh, my ... money."

He be pimpin' out all us bee-yatches.

Time to turn this mother ... uh, well, you know ... time to turn his @$$ out. He needs to bring home some cash. Instead of "allowing" banks to repay some of the TARP funds they were "loaned". Who the h377 ever heard of a lender "allowing" a lendee to repay the loan? I thought that was the whole point of the loan transaction!!!

Again, when does the Armed Revolution begin, and where can I sign up?

Liar, Liar... [exhibit #2,568,432]

The old saw tells us, "There are lies, damned lies, and then there are statistics." We might amend that to add, "...and of course, whatever a Democrat says."

Little "p" president (also known herein as little "m" messiah) O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong started out claiming his stimulus package would create "or save" 4 million, or 3.5 million, or some other big number, of jobs by the end of 2010. They can't seem to settle on a number, but hey, when you've committed the next several generations to paying off untold trillions of dollars of debt, who wants to quibble slight differences in completely uncertain projections made with new fangled untested economic modeling equations?

Anywho, Der Fuh...uh, sorry, "Mr. Presidente" now wants us to believe that by speeding up spending of those $787 billion in stimulus money, he's gonna "create or save" 600,000 jobs this summer alone. And he notes with "cream-in-the-jeans" ecstasy that we "only" lost 345,000 jobs last month, instead of the 650,000 plus we've lost in each of the previous 7 or so months.

Excuse me. It doesn't matter if the rate of job loss is slowing. What matters is, NO ONE IS HIRING!!! Except the US Government. Which is O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong's ultimate plan for jobs: to have everyone who draws a paycheck to have it signed by Ol' Unca Sambo.

The sooner this moron ceases to draw breath inside the Oval Office, the better for all of us.

[NOTE TO O-BAMA-LAMA-DING-DONG THOUGHT POLICE: That last statement is in no way a statement of intent on my part to do physical harm to our Der Leder. Even if given the chance. So back off, I'm no threat to this guy except in the voting booth.]

{simply shaking my head}

I pity anyone who doesn't have enough brain cells functioning to realize the obvious: our (little "p") president is a liar. Every single thing he says that sounds even vaguely acceptable is in diametrical opposition to what he does.

Today's examples:

Busy Not Running GM

"'What we are not doing -- what I have no interest in doing -- is running GM...'"

"The President is so busy not running GM that he had time...to call and reassure Detroit Mayor Dave Bing about the new GM's future location."

Dear little "m" messiah apparently also doesn't count forcing out former CEO Rick Wagoner, telling GM what kind of cars to make, or deciding exactly who owns the company as "running" the company. I guess that's understandable, given he has no experience whatsoever in running a business. Call it a "rookie mistake"...

Jobs, Jobs Everywhere...

...but nary a paycheck in site.

The little "m" messiah has made the claim of "creating or saving" X number of jobs so many times, it's hard to keep track. But will he take the blame for dumping those 20,000 GM workers, now that the U.S. government is the majority owner of the alleged "auto" company?"

Don't hold your breath, despite the stench of marxism.

Oh, Robbie, dear...

WAKE UP!!!



U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates: "North Korea appears to be working on a long-range missile, but it's not clear yet what they plan to do with it." {disclaimer: not a direct quote}

DOES IT REALLY MATTER WHAT THEY "PLAN" TO DO WITH IT?

What matters is what they COULD do with it, either by planning or by accident. Here are some ideas our $h1t for brains SecDef might want to consider:

1) Fire it at the U.S.

2) Fire it at somebody -- anybody -- else.

3) Give it to another terrorist state or group.

4) Not guard it closely enough, thus allowing it to be stolen by another terrorist state or group.

5) Did I mention, fire it at the U.S.?

Meanwhile, the only member of the (little "m") messiah's administration with any balls -- Hillary (who "borrowed" them from Bill after she found out about Monica) -- spends her days making "grave" statements of "concern".

Maybe O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong's strategy for making us safer is to make us so poor no other nation will bother attacking us.

When does the Armed Revolution begin, and where can I sign up?

¿Como se dice, "Bigot"?

"Me plazco apenas tan estar aquí y tener un trabajo."

"And, uh ... she assured me, uh, that ... she does windows, too."

Low, Low Prices!!!

"Uh, come on ... uh, in. And, uh, buy a new ... car. And don't worry -- your, uh ... warranty ... will be backed, uh, by ... the federal government. And remember: uh, you can ... have any ... uh, color, as long ... as it's black and white. Like me."

NOTE OF CLARIFICATION: Please notice the negative signs ("-") in front of the "terms"; thus, the government will pay you $500 to take the heap off their hands, give you a 25% "loan" on it, and pay you $500 a month for the duration of the "loan".

UPDATE [06/01/09, 01:54 PM]: Proof-positive that O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong is a liar. If he truly believed what he says about his previous moves actually working, then there'd be no reason whatsoever for the Politburo to take over GM. Instead, he'd just throw a couple more billion at them to use for payroll until the economy responds to his saving graces, known in a previous life as "untold hundreds of billions of dollars." But he KNOWS that's all bull$h1t. He wants control, and thanks to the spineless jellyfish(es) behind the steering wheel at Generalismo Motors, he has it -- in SPADES.

Moral Confusion: Case #298,435

I've only tangentially paid attention to the story of the mother and son who absconded for the purpose of avoiding chemotherapy for the son.

Now that they've returned, and are agreeing to a court order to have the son undergo chemotherapy, I find myself troubled by certain questions:

1) What right does the state have to force this boy to undergo treatment?

2) Who is ultimately responsible for this boy -- his parents, or the state?

3) Who will pay for the boy's treatment?

The obvious answers:

1) The state has absolutely no right to force this boy to undergo treatment. God doesn't work that way.

2) The boy's parents are responsible for him, his condition and any treatment decisions -- whether to undergo or to forgo treatment.

3) The state will -- meaning, the tax dollars of the citizens of Minnesota will be used to force treatment on this boy.

Ain't O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong's Uh-mer-kuh a great country?

%&(#@^!!!

Crowd Control 101

How to clear the streets after the California Supreme Court showed (for once) it has a firm grasp on the obvious and decided the will of the people must stand:

1) Just raise the following sign:

Photo Op

A recent sunny Sunday in New York, NY...



"OK...'chelle...uh, get the camera...ready."

"Oh, B, stop tellin' me what to do."

"I've told you...a thousand, uh...times. My...initials are, uh, B...O."



"Whatever. Snap it now."

"Crap. Too, uh...late."



"Here it comes again!"

"Crap. Uh, too...early."

"Like always."

"What's, uh, that...supposed to...mean?"



"Great. It's blockin' the lady."

"Uh, what's...wrong with...that?"

"Tell 'em to do it again!"

"Not, uh, the first...time I've...heard...uh, that."



"Crap. He's...too, uh, fast."

"Not the first time I've thought that."

"What's that...uh, supposed to...mean?"



"OK, now he's just showin' off."

"You've, uh, never...said...that about, uh...me."

Unrelated? Part 1

Three stories, possibly unrelated, caught my attention:

Obama Aims to Shield Science From Politics

"The president believes that it's particularly important to sign this memorandum so that we can put science and technology back at the heart of pursuing a broad range of national goals," Melody C. Barnes, director of Obama's Domestic Policy Council, told reporters during a telephone briefing yesterday.

Biden Reveals Location of Secret VP Bunker

Vice President Joe Biden, well-known for his verbal gaffes, may have finally outdone himself, divulging potentially classified information meant to save the life of a sitting vice president.

According to a report, while recently attending the Gridiron Club dinner in Washington, an annual event where powerful politicians and media elite get a chance to cozy up to one another, Biden told his dinnermates about the existence of a secret bunker under the old U.S. Naval Observatory, which is now the home of the vice president.

Saudi 'Killer Chip' Implant Would Track, Eliminate Undesirables

German media outlets reported last week that a Saudi inventor's application to patent a "killer chip," as the Swiss tabloids put it, had been denied.

The basic model would consist of a tiny GPS transceiver placed in a capsule and inserted under a person's skin, so that authorities could track him easily.

Model B would have an extra function — a dose of cyanide to remotely kill the wearer without muss or fuss if authorities deemed he'd become a public threat.

The inventor said the chip could be used to track terrorists, criminals, fugitives, illegal immigrants, political dissidents, domestic servants and foreigners overstaying their visas.

If Plagiarist Joe disappears for a few days, and comes back with a surgical scar on his head, perhaps it will signal that O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong really wants to use science in new -- and useful -- ways to "pursu[e] a broad range of national goals."

Like shutting up Plagiarist Joe.

Liberals are blind

This is a picture of former President George W. Bush:



This is a picture of former President James A. Garfield:



Blindness is perhaps the most logical explanation, then, for this:

Statue of Former President Beheaded in Ohio

HIRAM, Ohio — Someone has beheaded a statue of President James Garfield that was installed last week at an Ohio college.

Hiram College spokesman Shawn Brown says the vandalism was discovered Friday morning, just a day after the sandstone statue was dedicated on the campus in Hiram, 30 miles southeast of Cleveland.

Brown says the college is hoping the head will be recovered so the 95-year-old statue can be restored, but police have no leads in their investigation.

In the mid-1800s, Ohio native Garfield was a student and later the principal at the school that later became Hiram College. He was elected the nation's 20th president in 1880.

The statue was acquired for Hiram by a college trustee who found it recently on an eastern Ohio farm.

My Congress Person...

...is a complete moron.

Earlier this morning, I was listening, in passing, to the Francene Show on AM 840 WHAS. She had Reprehensible...er, sorry, make that Representative John Yarmuth (D, KY 3^rd District) on air, talking about various items. One item was President O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong's recent announcement that he was basically going to follow the Bush administration's tactic with the detainees at Gitmo (possible indefinite detention, military tribunals, etc.).

Francene, God love her, asked Yarmuth "Are you OK with that? Is that [indefinite detention] ever acceptable?"

Yarmuth -- born with a silver spoon shoved up his...mouth -- replied "No, it's never acceptable. That's why the Founding Fathers put that in the Bill of Rights."

...?!?

What do you say to such stupidity?

Here's what I said, in the form of an email message to Yard-Mouth:

I just heard you on 84 WHAS's Francene Show. While discussing the Obama administration's plans to basically take the same approach to the detainees at Guantanamo Bay as the Bush administration before it, you responded to a question that you believed holding anyone indefinitely was not acceptable under any circumstances--and stated "That's why the Founding Fathers put it in the Bill of Rights."

I was astounded by such ignorance on the part of my elected representative.

You're liberal. I get it.

You think government has rights separate from those derived from those it governs. I get it.

But can you possibly believe that the rights outlined in our Constitution, in the Bill of Rights, could somehow apply to persons WHO ARE NOT CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA? Or, worse yet, to persons who were captured on the field of battle, fighting against our military forces?

Go back to law school, John. I'm sure you'll be able to secure a student loan.

I'd rather we had a rock badger for a Congress Person. They're smarter, more reliable, not to mention more personable, than any of the Demon-Crats who've been foisted upon us in my life time.

Just call me "Joe the Blogger"

In case the O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong administration goons ever see this...

And it doesn't help that I'm currently on the (little "m") messiah's payroll.

Anyway, I've been busy -- while not earning a living -- making fun of our Socialist-in-Chief, via Photoshop, and gosh darn it, I'm just such a comedic genius I simply have to share some of my efforts with the wider world. So, here goes.

***********************



I seem to recall, back during the campaign, some disparaging remarks regarding porcine cosmetics.

***********************



"Dave, what are you doing? Why aren't you voluntarily paying more in taxes? After all, Dave, it's the 'patriotic' thing to do..."

***********************



Couldn't resist. (with apologies to Patrick)

***********************



Who say's white men can't jump? Or at least, step'n'fetchit...

***********************



At the rate he's going, he'll be all our baby-daddy soon.

***********************



After the local economy collapsed, Varsel had to close the bed-n-breakfast. But don't worry -- he's opened a GM dealership.

***********************



"Tonight, on Larry King Living Dead, a blockbuster political alliance in the making."



"Did so."

"Did not."

***********************



My latest bumpersticker.

***********************

And, last but certainly not least, in the grand tradition of being 100% bona fide politically incorrect...




***********************

There, that should hold you people for another year or so...

"And now..."

"...the end is near..."

The time has come for an end to active posting here at Think Sink^®. Due to circumstances in my life--among them, and most importantly, continuing to deepen my marriage relationship--I simply find that I have no time or energy to post anything. I will leave the archives up for those who happen to land here or those who simply must have yet another dose of my comedic genius and/or mad Photoshop skills.

If, at some point in the future, I find the time and interest to resume posting, I will. But don't hold your breath.

With that, I bow out, bidding you all a fond adieu, having no regrets and knowing, in the end...

"...I did it my way."